My Beloved Parents Are Getting Divorced and I Don’t Know What to Do

The Yomiuri Shimbun

14:55 JST, April 5, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m an 18-year-old high school girl. A few months ago, I found out that my beloved parents are getting divorced. My mother apparently grew tired of living with my father, and he is preparing to move out.

My parents said that they had a similar discussion on divorce about 10 years ago but couldn’t reach an agreement on custody issues. So, they decided to wait until I, their second daughter, came of age before finalizing the divorce.

I’ve loved my family since I was little, and spending time with them has made me so much happier than hanging out with friends or having a boyfriend. I’d been hoping to live with them forever and take care of them.

Since I start college this spring, I also wanted to take my family on a trip with the money I will earn from my first part-time job. My feelings are all over the place.

My parents gave me such a privileged life, including sending me to a private university. But now I can’t help wondering why they even bothered getting married and having my sister and me. Every day is painful.

When I see families who seem to get along well, I feel sad and start crying. What should I do?

Y, Kanagawa Prefecture

Dear Ms. Y:

It sounds like you love your parents dearly, and home was the place where you felt most comfortable.

It’s no wonder you’re shaken by the sudden news of them getting divorced. I imagine you feel as though the foundation of your world is crumbling. Your parents are surely the best father and mother you could have.

It’s common for couples to have different values. However, as long as they share the goal of building a family, those differences often don’t bother them — or even if they do, they can overlook such differences.

However, once their children grow up and leave home, it may become suffocating for couples to stay with someone who has different values. It’s not that they dislike each other, but rather that they might be thinking that they could tolerate such things if their partner was just a friend.

In such cases, creating distance can help them maintain a good relationship.

Your parents, who have worked together to build a warm and comfortable home for you, will not part ways because they dislike each other. Instead, they will create a good relationship — even if not as a married couple — by creating some distance so they can each live in a way that satisfies them. They will surely continue to be good parents to you.

Please accept them not only as your parents, but as a man and a woman. Even if you can’t live with them, I hope you will find ways to talk to and meet up with them so you can get through this challenge.

Junko Umihara, psychologist