My Father Seems to Be Getting Weaker and It Makes Me Very Sad

The Yomiuri Shimbun

12:00 JST, April 12, 2026

Dear Troubleshooter:

I’m a freelancer in my 60s, and my father, who is in his late 90s, had been living alone since my mother died nearly 10 years ago. Last autumn, he moved into a care facility.

Although his hearing has deteriorated, my father is still able to talk with others and walk on his own using a cane or walker. However, he seems to be getting weaker, both physically and mentally. It makes me feel incredibly sad.

I’m his second son and live about an hour away by car. My younger brother and his wife live about 15 minutes away by car. We each go to see my father about once a week.

My father spends most of his time lying in bed in his room. Even when I encourage him to talk to the other residents when they are watching TV in the dining room, he refuses and only says things like, “I don’t want to do anything,” “There’s nothing fun at all,” “I’m so exhausted” and “I want to die soon.”

I’ve taken him out for drives and brought him puzzle magazines, hoping he’d find something he likes to do, but he doesn’t seem interested at all. What should I do?

Z, Hyogo Prefecture

Dear Mr. Z:

I cared for my mother until she died at 91 when I was 60, so I can truly relate to how you feel.

However, considering his age and circumstances, I’m amazed at how mentally and physically robust your father is. It’s truly remarkable that he can walk on his own and talk with others.

The late Shigeo Nagashima, lifetime honorary manager of the Yomiuri Giants, once spoke of his “first 60th birthday,” and that’s exactly right.

For every one of us, coming of age, turning 60 and turning 70 are all first-time experiences. Honestly, I don’t think people in their 60s can fully understand how someone in their 90s feels.

These days, I spend my days writing at home, have a drink in the evening and occasionally go out to eat with friends. Other than that, I don’t really go out and have fun. If my younger self from elementary school saw this, I’m sure she’d be shocked by how boring my life is.

As someone in their 60s, however, I actually like my lifestyle. From your viewpoint, it might seem like your father isn’t enjoying his life, but it might be comfortable for him.

More than that, what truly moved me was that you visit your father once a week, as do your younger brother and his wife. He knows his children care about him and can see them once a week. Your father must be so happy. Please keep visiting him.

Eiko Yamaguchi, writer